Control The Controllables – Using Attitude

David Taylor
Naked Leader founder David Taylor, acclaimed author of The Naked Leader Experience

(Banksy tweet in Feb 2015, ‘Life is only ever as good as your mindset’)

HAVING attitude is not just the premise of teenagers! We all have it, and show it, in different ways.

That very fact means that, while we may not be able to control the events that happen around us, we do have control over what meaning we give to events and how we react to them.

For instance, you enjoy flying, your friends hates it and is squirming awkwardly in his seat a few rows behind you preparing for take-off, wondering how thin bits of metal can possibly carry the weight of the plane, the passengers and the luggage, while you relax and glance at your watch to see whether you will be arriving on time. All is well in your world.

So why are you cool and your friend a nervous wreck? It’s not the plane, or the seats. It’s down to only one thing. Your attitude (not altitude!). It is the meaning you give to any event, or anything in your life.

Different people, different attitudes.

Then there is the one where by coincidence you are in a florists when your friend arrives and you both buy a bunch of flowers for your loved ones.

There are two identical bouquets in the shop. You choose yours because they are beautiful, with such radiant, complimentary colours – and because they are cheap but look expensive. You both walk out of the shop, go your separate ways – and walk straight into different realities.

Your friend goes home, presents the flowers to his loved one, who immediately throws her arms around him and says, ‘thank you darling, they are absolutely wonderful, I love you so much’ before giving him a suggestive and loving look that leaves him in no doubt the flowers have done the trick.

Meanwhile, you go home, present the flowers to your partner, who immediately hurls them to one side, slaps you in the face and says, ‘what have you been up to then?’

Now, what’s different here? Well, it’s not the flowers and it’s not the amount you’ve spent. In fact it’s only one thing. It’s your partner’s attitude compared with that of your friend’s partner. Effectively, what we do in creating our own response is to create our own reality.

Very often, a slight change of perspective is all it takes to make a significant change of meaning. People who move forward do so because they choose helpful meanings for the circumstances they find themselves in.

(Based on an extract from The Naked Leader Experience)


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