Time to Read: As fast as you, personally, read it, and that’s ok
Time to Listen: However long it takes to listen, and again, that’s ok
Give people a standard to live up to…not down to
Three real examples:
1. Teenagers
A few weeks ago my nephew was playing in a football cup final. Parents of both clubs crowded the lines, supporting their respective boys and teams. Unfortunately much of what they shouted did not work – “Come on, for goodness sake! You need to talk to each other!”; “You’re letting them get to you – get your heads up”; and “stop giving the ball away.” So a small group of us started shouting a subtly different and more positive message – “Well done boys, keep talking” and “Keep your heads up boys, you can win this” and every time they tackled well, or passed it well, or shot etc. we acknowledged it.
And “we” won – 5-3 on penalties!
Action – Catch people doing things right, and they will keep doing those things.
2. At Home, and Work
It’s not what you say, it’s what you do. If all you did, as a mother, a husband and a leader, was always keep your word, and take action, others will always know where they stand with you.
Last weekend in a supermarket – small boy helps himself to a bag of sweets. Mummy said “you can’t have that”. Boy goes to daddy who says “put it back.” Child starts crying so they say “Oh, ok then.” You must follow through on what you say, always.
I haven’t quite mastered this with my cats – “No, I am not feeding you, it’s not your tea time yet” I say as I follow them to their bowls. “Ok, I say” as I give them a “snack” – “this is the last time.” I can almost tell what they are thinking “Yeh, right David.”
Action – Keep your word, always, and you will be a trusted role model, except with cats.
3. In a presentation
A company we were partnering introduced a new idea – The Big Picture – in their organisation, with the first stage being a 30 minute introduction.
To the first group the presenter said:
“Now, this is a very complex idea, and we only have 30 minutes. There is no way you will learn much about The Big Picture in that time.”
Outcome – Few remembered much
Then, to the second group, the same guy used one of the most powerful persuasion techniques in the world – the placebo effect.
This time he said:
“Now, this is a really simple idea, and you will be able to pick it up in the 30 minutes we have today”
Outcome – Most remembered a lot
Action – Use the placebo effect, its effect is astonishing
4. Now Do It! And trust your own experience, and please share your outcomes with others.
With my love and best wishes
David X