How to Hijack a Meeting…

Please add your comments at the bottom… many thanks.

Time to Read: 52 secs

Time to Listen: 1 min 29 secs

  1. Show up – this is always a good start – the more people, the greater your chance of a hijack.
  2. Wait for people who are late, before you begin (it would be discourteous not to).
  3. Put a very tall pile of papers in front of you – any papers – shows you are prepared.
  4. The Key – ask questions under “Actions from the last meeting” – get people talking about the issue itself, rather than the importance of the issue.
  5. Always go for consensus – which means a lot of discussion, debate and disagreement while being sickeningly nice to each other along the way, and, once you have achieved it, it is always so anodyne.
  6. Ensure that each action has more than one name next to it, or ideally, the name of a function e.g. Finance or HR. – that will never get done, then.
  7. Lead “the merry dance” – this is where you all dance as close to the main point as possible, without anyone ever raising it directly.
  8. Periodically comment on how well the meeting is being chaired / going.
  9. Write frantically – it doesn’t matter what you write, as long as you do, at the right times.
  10. Towards the end of the marathon meeting ask “I think it is important to remember what we want to achieve here.” Brilliant – the meeting is hijacked, much expensive time has been wasted and you come out the hero.

Have you experienced a hijack?

With my love and best wishes

David
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