- 28th June 2010
- Posted by: Rosalind Howard
- Category: NL Week
Time to Read – 3 minutes and 30 seconds
I love chilli…it’s my favourite. “Can we have chilli tonight?” – “No.”
Today, whenever you find yourself saying No, say Yes!
Change the way you say No and you will have more co-operation, form more trusted relationships, and sometimes it will turn to Yes.
Sometimes we say NO just to prove we can, or because we don’t like the person, or because there’s a good reason!
When you are about to say No ask yourself the real reasons, and whether you can switch it to a “Yes”
“Can we get the system in early?” “No (because we‘re already fully working flat out)”
“YES we can if we get a contractor who is familiar with … who can start next Monday.” (Well, it might be possible!)
“Can we watch England play in the World cup in the office?’ ‘No (we’ll lose 2 hours work)”
“Yes if you make up the time and keep your work up to date.”
Ask yourself why you are saying No… you will have a good reason I’m sure. Once you know this reason, ask yourself, does that reason itself stop you saying “Yes?”
This especially applies to your children – in their lifetime they hear the word “No” 400 times more than they hear the word “Yes.” Of course children need to know where they stand, and by saying “Yes” as often as “No” they will know exactly where they stand, as opposed to always being told where they will fall.
“Mummy, can I take a photo?” “No (because we are about to get on the train)”
“Yes, of course you can, as soon as we have got on the train”
The purists in assertiveness may tell you that you have no need of either flowering up your refusal or explaining your reasons – that’s fine, if you have no need in your life to build relationships, help others or have a can-do attitude.
Now where was I?
Ah yes – “Can we have chilli tonight?”
“Yes! – if you go to the shops, get the ingredients, and cook it for us, I love chilli as well”
With my love and best wishes to you all