Self-Esteem, for life

Time to Read – Adults 40 seconds – Children go have fun

A few weeks ago I suggested saying “yes” to your child(ren), as often as you say “no” – that produced quite a response, and questions on other things to say and do:
Here are three:

*         Tell him/her that you are “very proud” of them – and be specific, relate the  comment to something they have done

*         Play/be with/listen to them when they want you to – five minutes after doesn’t  work

*         Show a genuine interest in an interest of theirs – be it a TV programme, book or  hobby

Two more NL Weeks on young people to follow…

WARNING – doesn’t just work with children! – works with bigger people too!

With love to you and the child that is going get your attention today


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  • I have always advocated playing with children when they want you to. Also to make time to help them with homework and make time for playing because it is all too easy to fob them off and say you are busy. Learn to enjoy, not endure, your children.

  • Children are such a source of joy and it is heartbraking when you think how some are being treated just for being born into the wrong family.
    I guess you have to concentrate solely on your own and make sure they are being cared for and have ths cope to learn among a loving family unit.
    That way they thrive and have a great life and you can say yes to them a lot because the nos aren’t so prevalent.

  • I don’t have children although I am an aunty and I love to say YES to them whenever they want me.
    I suppose that’s not the same as being a parent as they have to draw the line. Yes can be used much more than no though and I gree the self-esteem angle is important from an early age.

  • clivebarrett

    There are some recent articles on this site regarding children and Alan Wilson’s outstanding work in this field. I will endeavour to get one of these up in due course for others to read.

  • Would like to see that article again at some stage. Alan Wilson is an inspiration from some of the work I have seen from him with regard to letting children develop.

  • Children are wonderful. Mine certainly are. Trying to find the right balance between reward and punishment for misdemeanors is tough.
    The point is, you should be tolerant of children. It doesn’t seem fair that the way a parent reacts impacts so greatly on a child.
    You might be having a bad day and reactly differently to how you would have done the day before to the same situation.
    A child doesn’t know that. So don’t let your feelings get in the way of normal tolerance levels.

  • Children are a joy. If you let them breathe as humans and treat them on your level, they love it, and you get such reward back from them. Saying yes to them comes naturally to me. Because I love to please them.

  • Having nieces and nephews is more fun that having your own children. That way, you can say yes all the time and not have to feel the impact of the nos. I enjoy that side of the relationship with my family. It’s a win, win.

  • Children can be a great source of knowledge and inspiration if only we allow them to express themselves.
    Some of the things you hear them say are wonderful and are heartwarming.
    My 7-year-old daughter asked me this: ‘Daddy, if I put these two fingers up, is it swearing?’
    I hadn’t looked at the fingers she was referring to and asked her, with trepidation, to show me.
    She promptly put the index finger up of each hand and looked wide eyed at me.
    ‘No darling, that’s not swearing, that’s fine,’ I assured her.
    She replied. ‘Oh yes, of course it’s not swearing because you use those two fingers to do fly away Peter and fly away Paul,’
    Such a wonderful, innocent conversation. And one that sums up the beauty and wonderment of children.

  • I love the things children say and that is a great example of the innocence of youth. Such questions will continue to flow and it is how you deal with them that counts.

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