The Three stages of a “dressing down”

Time to Read – 90 seconds

Time to Deliver – As long as it takes to “work”

Thank you for your feedback to the clip from Gettysburg  last week. Many of you asked for a breakdown of the stages in the process between General Lee and General JEB Stuart, which in case you didn’t get a chance to see is here…

Stage One

“It is the opinion…” – State the problem in simple language, and be clear that you hold and that you hold the person accountable – when telling someone off at work or at home focus on the problem, not on the person.

Stage Two

Give the person an opportunity to speak, to defend themselves or (if you have done stage one correctly, to agree with you). In the clip Lee does not really allow Stuart to do this – because they did not have as much time as you will have (unless you will be facing a major battle the next day).

Stage Three

Praise the person (if you do rate him/her) – this is where you make it personal, as Lee does brilliantly.

I also appreciate the number of you who pointed out what an amazing leader General Lee was, perhaps the most beloved loser in American military history.

With my love and best wishes


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